The older they are, the harder they fall.

Oh, God...i hit 26 years old in a couple of weeks. This wasn't initially such a big deal, until I realised that if I was a professional footballer (*sigh* Broken dreams!) I'd only have one big five-year contract left until I would have to think about hanging up my boots for being 'past my peak'.

You definitely know you're getting old when:

• You're no longer valid for a 'Young Person's' railcard. You're just a normal, disgusting person riding with the rest of the scum.
• You think "Hmmm...I could really do with owning a shoe-horn. The 'furiously dancing my foot into the shoe' technique just ain't working for me anymore."
• 90% of your female friends on Facebook have names such as 'Jenny _____ (was ____)', as they pair up and marry off. How dare they find true love?! Selfish bastards.
• Your dad starts saying "Where are my fucking Grandkids?! Is all your 'equipment' working down there or what?"
  

Either way, I'm going to let the day drift past. And if anyone wishes me 'Happy birthday!!', they're getting a face full of fives.