The older they are, the harder they fall.

Oh, God...i hit 26 years old in a couple of weeks. This wasn't initially such a big deal, until I realised that if I was a professional footballer (*sigh* Broken dreams!) I'd only have one big five-year contract left until I would have to think about hanging up my boots for being 'past my peak'.

You definitely know you're getting old when:

• You're no longer valid for a 'Young Person's' railcard. You're just a normal, disgusting person riding with the rest of the scum.
• You think "Hmmm...I could really do with owning a shoe-horn. The 'furiously dancing my foot into the shoe' technique just ain't working for me anymore."
• 90% of your female friends on Facebook have names such as 'Jenny _____ (was ____)', as they pair up and marry off. How dare they find true love?! Selfish bastards.
• Your dad starts saying "Where are my fucking Grandkids?! Is all your 'equipment' working down there or what?"
  

Either way, I'm going to let the day drift past. And if anyone wishes me 'Happy birthday!!', they're getting a face full of fives.

Yep. Just how nature...err...intended?

"The world's SECOND pregnant man is 'blissfully happy' as he prepares to give birth to baby boy next month"

I'm a liberal guy. I'm notorious for my liberality - but this is just creepy!

Why would a woman - who was technically a 'lesbian' who was attracted to other women - suddenly think: "Yes, i'm attracted to women - but only woman who: A) Look like long-distance male truckers, and B) Look like i do." Though one of these women is technically a man now, so she's not a lesbian anymore...It's all very confusing. Also, it pisses me off that they can grow better beards than i can. I need an intense shot of male hormones, asap!

All i know is that it's going to be very awkward for the new baby come Mother's day.

It's like an episode of the 80s sitcom, My Two Dads...but actually funny.

Avatar: Officially the biggest film ever.

So, Avatar is the highest grossing film of all time - 'adjusted for inflation'...as they always say in articles. Whatever that means.

Have we all seen it? I watched it. Though i'm not sure if i watched it because i wanted to watch it, or just watched it to say that i've watched it ('Most uses of 'watched' in one sentence award' goes to that last sentence.)

Hype has a tendency to cloud people's minds when it comes to big media events such as this. Everyone's tweeting: "OMG!!!! just saw avatarr, best film EVA! IZ it rong i found the alien fit?! LOLZ". And, i admit, it was quite entertaining...as far as films about blue aliens go. But to have it in the 'top 100' films list on IMDB? Come off it. It must be up there purely for the potential it shows for future films which could utilise this new technology. If it had just used skinny emo-looking 'real' people instead of CGI, all jumping around with blue facepaint in skimpy leotards (Avatar: The Musical anyone?), the box-office figures wouldn't be looking nearly so healthy.

Everyone is banging on about the 3D. Is it worth paying extra to watch it in 3D? Yes, i'd say so. The effect created is quite striking. Though, i must mention, this is someone whose only previous experience of '3D' was Spy Kids 3D. I think a person onscreen picking up a cup of coffee, blowing on it to cool it, then putting it back down would have created a more impressive spectacle than Spy Kids 3D.

I don't know if you guys noticed, but there was a hint of an 'anti-war' message hidden in the subtext of the film. Perhaps a more subtle approach would have been to just have a blank screen, with the text: "DOWN WITH THIS ILLEGAL WAR! BUSH MUST BE TRIED AS A WAR CRIMINAL!' flashing at your face in glorious 3D for 2 hours 45 minutes.

So what did you guys think? Hey, at least it gave people who wear glasses the chance to laugh at people wearing glasses...